What Is Sex Therapy?
A GUIDE TO GETTING STARTED
A clear answer to the question most people ask before their first session.
Sex therapy is a form of talk therapy focused on the sexual, emotional and relational parts of intimacy. I take a biological, psychological, and social approach to understand desire, connection, identity, and habitual behaviors to help understanding how people engage in sex and to their partners. It is provided by a licensed therapist with specialized training beyond general counseling. It is conducted entirely through conversation. There is no physical or sexual activity involved in session.
People come to sex therapy for a variety of different reasons: a difference in desire between partners, difficulty with arousal or orgasm, shame connected to sex or identity, healing after betrayal, exploring gender or sexual identity, navigating non-monogamy, or simply wanted more fulfilling and passionate sex.
What actually happens in session
A sex therapy session looks like any other talk therapy. We sit and talk about what is concerning you and figure out ways to address these concerns. Sessions are usually about 50 minutes and take place on a telehealth platform from your phone or computer. Early sessions focus on assessment, gathering information about what brought you in and history. As sessions develop we move toward specific patterns, communication tools, and interventions. For both individuals and couples I will give exercises to practices between sessions.
What sex therapy is not: there is no nudity, no touch, and no sexual activity of any kind during a session. It is 100% conversation- based, the same as any other form of psychotherapy.
Who is sex therapy for?
Individuals working through desire, shame, body image, or identity on their own
Couples or partners — monogamous, non-monogamous, LGBTQIA+
People navigating a specific concerns, like painful sex, mismatched desire, or erectile dysfunction
People who want more pleasurable sex
How it’s different from general couples therapy
I am originally trained as couples therapist. A sex therapist has additional training specifically in sexual health and function which makes me comfortable to jump directly into topics like desire, arousal, kink, gender identity, non-monogamy. Many general couples therapists are less equipped or comfortable addressing topics. The relational and emotional work is the same; the specialization is what changes.
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No - Sex therapy is talk therapy. There is never any nudity, physical contact, or sexual activity or any kind during a session. It’s a conversation, the same as any other psychotherapy.
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Only as much as feels useful and comfortable. You set the pace. Some sessions will focus more on patterns of communication, while other may focus more on specifics.
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A sex therapist has specialized training in sexual health, desire, arousal, and intimacy. They are comfortable diving into those topics where some couples therapists might not be. However it is still grounded in the same relational and emotional work as couples therapy.
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Definitely not. Many clients come individually to work on their own relationship with with body, desire, identity, past experiences, or their current relationship without their partner present.
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No. Lots of couples come in simply wanting more pleasure, more connection, or more confidence. There does not need to be a crisis.
Before your first session
COMMON QUESTIONS
Book a free 20-minute consultation
No pressure, no obligation. Just a conversation to see if we’re a good fit.